So I heard from that final medical school today in the form of a rejection. :(. Not quite sure how I feel. Shed a few tears, but I'm not sure if that was more over relief that I now know from everywhere or the rejection itself. But now after a few hours, I'm feeling optimistic and excited for what the year may bring. Now I can have the most amazing gap year and do exactly what I want to do, yet I still have to think about finance and I'm hating that I could have had the opportunity for the low fees but have blown it and will have to pay the high ones. Bleurgh.
But I'm actually quite surprised at how i've delt with this all. Thought I'd be a lot more upset about it than I am, but maybe I'm just deluding myself. People who found out were so supportive, and I felt so warm (i've always thought that I wouldn't know how to act when people start saying they feel sorry for me, I HATE pity) though I couldn't believe that a few teachers passed me when I was crying and didn't even stop to ask if I was ok. But I didn't think about that at the time, I definately do NOT want to be molly-coddled and to be honest I shouldn't (and don't) care about that. One really nice teacher even gave me some easter mini eggs which was so sweet, and my closest friends have been incredible, so I'm fine.
Looking to the future now, I guess this all happened for a reason, whether I deserved it or not. Better concentrate on my A levels, and just grasp whatever may happen over this next year. Its annoying that I may have to do the UKCAT, BMAT etc all over again, but at least this time I get to do it all with my A level results and with maturity and experience which can only benefit my application.
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