Hindsight

Sorry, I've been so busy and ill for a couple of days so not been able to post. The time spent ill in bed has definitely given time for everything to sink in, and whilst for a while It was depressing and I felt sad and lost I've come out really excited for the year ahead and realised that hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Its still sad that all this effort throughout the year has come ended with disappointment but it has given me lots of food for thought and tonnes of advice that I can use for this year. A couple of weeks ago at the charity I had to give a talk on 'Inspired by the Expired' and I'm now finding inspiration from all these expired events/mistakes (or whatever you call them) from this year, funny that. Also from talking to future medics in the year below I've got a lot of advice to give, so after some requests I'll definitely have a few posts with advice (though do remember that advice is usually individualistic, so advice to one person may not be very helpful to you).

Its been weird having to sign myself up again for open days and what not, but at least now I have the biggest agenda and the greatest number of questions I can ask to make the right decisions. Thing is, I still keep questioning whether I want to enter medicine now or postgraduate. Its hard to identify whether I'm just disheartened from all the rejections or if I really should do another degree beforehand. Hmpf.

As for school, the best thing I can do right now is concentrate on my work and get the best grades possible. This is really hard when I have no motivation but hey, I guess I've just got to stick at it. Also feeling that I'm more and more ready to leave school. That's not because I don't love it, I think I'm just starting to accept that I'm going to have to spend a year in the 'big bad world' as an adult without the security and want that 'progress' to happen sooner than later. But I really really am going to miss school. More the people and atmosphere than anything. Haven't been the happiest with the advice I've been given from the careers department but as my wise friend said 'if they and UCAS messedd me over this year, then next year mess them both.' So I won't dwell on it.

It is a bit annoying though that some people know the situation I'm in, and talk to me but don't mention it. Its like 'i'm not ashamed about it anymore so you shouldn't either'. Especially the students that have become so big headed and arrogant after their Oxbridge offers (though that's not saying all those offer holders have become arrogant cause some have been so supportive). Speaking of which I told lots of my family about the rejections and they all responded really well, so I was pleasantly surprised. None of that disappointed pity (I hope).

So I need to go now and rest a bit more, but hopefully I will post soon with some advice. And I'm sorry if these posts have become a bit sad or unreadable (and I'm sorry to my close mates that I've been so miserable these past few days) - I am a bit sad about it all but I promise I'm being optimistic, so this phase shouldn't last long.